I promised last week I’d talk about some of the lies that have been uprooted out of my life.
If you read my Transformation page, I start out asking some questions. Mainly, when is the last time you felt beautiful?
For most of us, that wasn’t recently.
Because we believe lies. That to be beautiful, you need to be a certain size. Or your nose has to look like this. Or your skin should be flawless. Or your hair should be that color. And curly. Or not.
And there are deeper “layers”.
We tell ourselves we are “dumb”, we can’t “get it”, we’re not “crafty”, creative, coordinated, smart, lovely….you name it, we can put ourselves down!
Would you say any of that to your dearest friend?
“Jane, I just want to tell you that you are really dumb. You are never going to get it. You are so plain and if you don’t lose 3 sizes, you’re just nobody.”
You would never, ever even say that to your worst enemy, if you’re like most of us! Yet we tell ourselves these kinds of things every day. And we think it’s okay.
The Bible has an interesting proverb:
The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.” ~Proverbs 26:22
I truly believe that is real, and not just poetic language! Ever heard the term, “She swallowed a lie”?
When we tell ourselves these lies, they literally become a part of who we are. They shape our decisions and opinions. They can lead to envy, discontent, fear, and they can paralyze us, keep us in bondage so we can’t be free–free to be who we really are. Who we were created to be.
And when we try so hard to live up to an ideal that is not real, it keeps us from contributing our unique gifts to the world.
The world is poorer for it!
I’m going to share some of my “lies” that have been uprooted recently. I can’t hit everybody’s 😉 but I can give you an idea of what was down deep in there–to where I hardly had recognized them. They had become a part of me!
At the end of December, I had a barrage of thoughts/feelings hit me. I had been fighting off being sick, trying to prepare for certifications, my adrenals weren’t very happy….and my stamina was not good.
I started nearly panicking that maybe I would not be able to certify!
Here are the lies that assaulted me:
“You’ve wasted all that money! You never finish anything! You’re not athletic–you’ve always been weak physically–who told you you could do this?! You’re not going to have the stamina to do this! You’re going to crash your adrenals again–and then where will you be? You’re not ready to certify–you can’t even get all the way through TWO! You’re not smart enough to do this! You’ll miss spotting someone and they’ll get hurt–then you’ll feel badly! You won’t be able to really help others with this in person! No one will pay you for this!”
Shocking the garbage that can surface–especially when we are physically or emotionally fighting off sickness or other issues!
I realized pretty quickly that if I gave way to all these thoughts, they would be self-fulfilling, because we can’t succeed where we doubt ourselves!
I knew I needed to combat the lies with truth.
Lies sap our energy, our creativity…we’re spending so much mental energy either combatting them or entertaining them we have no energy for anything else. And yes, this can sap our physical energy and stamina as well!
So, what are truths to combat the lies that were hitting me?
“You’ve wasted all that money!”
Even if I didn’t certify, the money I spent on mentoring and training was well spent! I learned a lot that was helpful to me, whether I ever became a trainer or not.
“You never finish anything!”
Of course that is a blanket statement that is a lie. I finish things! My life might not be all neat and tidy, tying up all loose ends, but I also don’t leave “everything” undone!
“You’re not athletic–you’ve always been weak physically–who told you you could do this?!”
No, I’m not very athletic–all the better to help others who also aren’t but want an exercise program that works!
True, I’ve been weaker physically due to many issues, but that will make me a more understanding trainer!
Who told me? Me! My wonderful husband, my mom, many friends and Tappers on the forums. Teresa herself. And God! 🙂
“You’re not going to have the stamina to do this!”
I may not have the stamina to do all I want to do, but I can pace myself to do what I need to do!
“You’re going to crash your adrenals again–and then where will you be?”
I am not doing foolish things to crash again–I will rest and if it means I can’t go to certifications until next year, then that has to be okay.
“You’re not ready to certify–you can’t even get all the way through TWO!”
Getting through TWO in one day is not the goal! I am ready to certify–I might not be able to do all of TWO, but Teresa will pick what moves I need to do. I won’t be doing each and every move anyway!
“You’re not smart enough to do this!”
I have studied and mentored, and I do know my stuff!
“You’ll miss spotting someone and they’ll get hurt–then you’ll feel badly!”
My ability to spot will only improve with practice. I’m not going to do anything that would compromise someone’s safety!
“You won’t be able to really help others with this in person!”
I already had by that point, and I have even more since!
“No one will pay you for this!”
If they see the worth, they will. (And they have!)
Where did these things come from? I believe it’s an undercurrent that we hear in our heads–sometimes it may come, sadly, from our homes while we were growing up. Other times it was unkind classmates and “friends”. We look for affirmation in so many ways, often from people close to us, that we love and want to please. When they, perhaps in their own pain, choose to say unkind things or not give us that affirmation, we flounder. We blame ourselves. Or we become another link in this negative chain and put down those looking to us for affirmation.
It’s time to stop this vicious cycle!
Remember, we each have a unique gift to offer this world–but if we’re bound up with trying to be like someone else, believing that we’re not “good enough” because we don’t “measure up” in some way, we’ll never tap into the God-given gifts that only we can contribute to society.
It’s time to stop “swallowing the lie” and speak the truth–
That we are beautiful, each in our own way, that we are worthy of affirmation, and that yes, we CAN do whatever it is we’re called to do!
We all enjoy and are inspired by stories of those with physical handicaps who overcome great odds–to play piano beautifully with only a few fingers, run marathons with artificial legs, paint beautiful paintings with a paintbrush in a mouth—so why is it we don’t think we can overcome the emotional/mental/spiritual “handicaps” that threaten to undo us?
The fact is, we can overcome! We may have obstacles (lack of money, physical weakness, others not believing in us), but we can overcome them. My faith is a big part of who I am, and I find great encouragement and strength there to help me overcome the lies so I can become what I believe God created me to be. I’m also blessed with supportive family.
It’s important to find some like-minded, positive friends who will be honest with you, but also who will not let you berate or beat yourself up. As in my earlier example, you wouldn’t say those things to your closest friend–why say them to yourself? They don’t encourage or motivate–so stop giving them authority in your life!
This even goes for our physical features–for example, instead of saying how fat your belly is and it will never budge, think of how that belly digests your food and perhaps has given you your children. Instead of lamenting your “thunder thighs”, be grateful for those legs being strong to get you where you need to go by walking.
Some of this may seem “odd”, but I truly believe we cannot go on saying ugly, totally negative things about ourselves and not have it affect us physically.
After my mom died, I struggled with consistency. Even after I decided to become a trainer, I still struggled. Nine months to the day of her death, I finally “gave up” fighting God over His timing in taking her Home. From that point on, my ability to be consistent returned. Coincidence?
Then in August of last year, I felt I needed to deal with some areas in my spiritual life, stemming from a miscarriage I had had nearly 22 years ago! I thought everything was dealt with, but there was a tiny piece of my heart I “walled off”, so to speak. I dealt with it, and from that point on I can look back and see a major reshaping of my midsection area. Another coincidence?
I don’t think so!
If we “hold onto” things–be it grief, anger, bitterness, hurts….I truly believe our bodies will also “hang onto” things–be it health issues, excess pudge, etc. I’ve watched my own body respond physically to dealing with things emotionally and spiritually.
As I’ve said before, we are three dimensional beings, and we can’t only focus on what we’re eating and what exercise we are doing, and ignore the other, and think it won’t affect us.
I encourage you to face your lies head-on. You don’t need to overanalyze this–if you are willing, they will surface. Just be ready, no matter how intensely the lies clamor for your attention–be ready with truth. Write it down if you must! Ask a friend to hold you accountable and call you on it when you are saying things you would never say to a friend.
And get ready—